#52// what if your family game is a murder confession?

books and kdramas for the hols

Dear Reader,

Did you light your candles this year? One of my favourite newsletters last year was the one I wrote about lighting your candles instead of buying new ones or keeping them for special occasions. One year since, I am happy to report that I have indeed lighted all my candles in my precious collection. And it looks like they will last a whole year more (all the more reason to not go behind consumerist culture of getting new stuff every season). I also received messages from some of you who remembered last year’s light-the-candle message and that you’ve been implementing it in your lives too. Thank you for sharing with me! I wish you lots of light and love.

I’ll share my own curious story of a candle that was gifted to me by a friend in seventh grade. She was one of my best friends and I think I was gifted the candle when I was moving away from the school and city (it could be my birthday too, seventh grade is too long ago to remember). So this green coloured candle stood in my new room in the new city, never lit. It was my first candle, my very own. It was round and stood on a black metal stand. It had a glass frame embossed with a butterfly which looked lovely when the candle was lit. For me it was the most beautiful thing in the world. I wanted it to be lit when everything was perfect. I dreamed of a perfectly decorated room (I had an obsession with IKEA catalogues and used to collect them every year until I became an adult and I felt shy to ask someone to collect and bring for me. Or sacrifice my luggage space for a catalogue. But I’ve still got an updated collection). But we were a family trying to settle in a new city.

My room was just an ordinary room, nothing like what you see in lifestyle catalogues (I loved it. Having your own room is incomparable to everything else). My room also housed cupboards where the family’s stuff was stored—my mom’s sarees, documents, the common dressing mirror and so on. So there were times, especially in mornings, when it was more of a common room than my own space. This candle stood on my study table in the same room as a decoration, waiting for the perfect room and perfect occasion to be lit. It followed me through many cities, even countries. This story doesn’t have a dramatic ending except that I lit the candle finally, few years ago, and no, it wasn’t lit in a perfect room or for a perfect occasion. I just thought to myself saving something up from seventh grade is simply silly. (I am surprised nothing really happens to a candle even after so many years. they don’t have expiry dates?). I should’ve named this candle if I knew it is going to be with me for such a long time.

So what I am trying to say is—perfect moments may never come. Also who knew this candle would’ve followed me through many cities? It is only because I was too young to make rational decisions. At this age, I might abandon a heavy candle for a more useful or practical item when moving places. And look, here’s a picture of the dusty candle for proof. It is no longer round and shapely. But it has lived its purpose in life. Also, I think it is going to last me a while too. I should light it more often.

The candle has now lost its shape and melted onto the stand.

The friend and I fell out of touch. We briefly connected when Facebook was a thing and when that fizzled out, we went on with our lives. I love that her thoughtful gift brought me joy after so many years. I hope she is happy and doing well wherever she is. As for you, dear reader, use up those things you’ve spent too long saving for the perfect occasion. Light those candles.

Read

I have some amazing reads for your holiday reading, whether it is to meet your reading goals or to simply have a good time.

Bingeable book : I love a good thriller when the year is almost at an end. The Family Game by Catherine Steadman, narrated by the author herself was absolutely unstoppable. It follows a novelist Harriet Reed, newly engaged to the son of the powerful and rich Holbeck family. After a family dinner, her father-in-law hands her a secret tape that is supposed to be a new book he is writing. Harriet is eager to please the family and listen to the book on tape. But the tape turns out to be a murder confession, and upon further digging she realizes it might not be a fictional one. The Family Game is a tasty and obsessive thriller—the Holbeck family pushes their way into the new couple’s lives and Harriet Reed is anxious to keep her own secrets under the wraps, while investigating murders and missing people. I loved the twists and the way it made my heart thump. Also what is with eccentric rich families playing forced lethal games as family traditions? Is there no way to opt out? The ending seemed a little too convenient, but that hardly mattered; the adrenaline rush was amazing. So good.

For sleepless nights : Deep Dark Fears by Fran Kruse is a comic about your deep dark fears illustrated in every page. I LOVED it and it is such a great book to read at night, guaranteed to give you very weird dreams. Some of my favourite fears were about ghosts prising your mouth open when you yawn, whether farts are visible in cold winter days and if people do not respond to your hello does that mean you are dead? (what?)

The Family Game by Catherine Steadman, The Death of Mrs. Westaway by Ruth Ware, Deep Dark Fears by Fran Kruse

Seasonal read : I read The Death of Mrs Westaway by Ruth Ware for the first time, and it is as good as what everybody says. It is atmospheric and I loved seeing the protagonist get nearly caught in her fraud. I genuinely worried about her but also justified her actions that could land her in jail. I sighed in relief every time she narrowly missed the inevitable. It’s a novel about a tarot reader who might inherit a big fortune from a dead grandmother (because of a mistaken identity) if she could weasel her way in. Big mansion with secrets, heirs, magpies, unfriendly housekeepers, dead mothers, tarot readings, booby traps around an ancient house that can kill you. This is THE book you need to read as soon as possible. The audiobook narrated by Imogen Church elevates the experience.

Ask for a book rec

Do you need a book recommendation? Something to gift yourself or a friend? Type what you need in here and I will list them out in a special edition of the newsletter. Feel free to word it however you like—a super specific book recommendation or genre-based question or even what I might recommend if you enjoy a particular book or author. You can remain anonymous or mention your social media handle.

(Disclaimer : Last year when I did this on Insta, I had many requests for a philosophical non-fiction book rec. I had no recs then, and none now either. Just so you know. Anything else, hit me up. Oh, if you have a philosophical non-fiction rec to share, pls reply to this email and I’ll put those in along with your name/as an anon).

Watch

The good days of romance Korean dramas are back. I am currently hooked to My Demon (where a demon enters into a contract marriage with a human who accidentally gets the source of his powers). It is giving Goblin vibes without the teen trope and I am here for it. I also began watching the summer-y, lovey-dovey Welcome to Samdalri—about second chances in small town—set in the beautiful Jeju island (and stars Ji Chang Wook, whom some of know to be my favourite). Great cast and production quality for both. I am also relieved that you have to wait a week for new episodes and not binge them. It’s been a while since Kdramas gave the ‘feels’. Not bad, 2023.

You might have missed

32 South Asian books to read now

Witchy graphic novels to read in autumn

I was interviewed by Riverhead books for Riverherd

Amazing links

• New Malayalam movies to stream in 2023

• I’ve been really enjoying this game. It doesn’t have a time counter, so you can pop in and off over the day. It doesn’t require you to bust your brains (until you get closer to the goal). I find it the internet game equivalent of a stress ball

• I’ve tasted this cake and it is AMAZING, so this photo essay of Kerala’s most beloved Christmas cake was lovely (PS: it is pricey)

• “The year my baby turned sixteen was the year my novel died”

• Alarming stats about social media and mental health (Don’t skip this. Made me think a lot)

That’s it for today, my snowdrops. Stay hydrated and cozy up.

Until next time,

Resh x